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Still trying to be positive…

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Hi everyone!

It’s taking a lot of positivity and optimism to write this post. I had my ultrasound today, at 7 weeks 5 days pregnant.

Baby boy only grew 3mm when he was supposed to grow 8mm. BUT he did GROW!

I knew from the start he was slow growing and my opinion on that is not going to change.

My doctor gave me the miscarriage talk. Told me to start preparing and look for any of the signs. He said we have a 1% chance that this will work (not sure where he even came up with that percentage).

I feel like I blacked out when he was talking because I was so angry that he was even telling me these words. I cut him off while he was mid sentence and shared my experience with Brynn and how she didn’t show up on the 7week5day ultrasound either.

SO, we are going to continue on my meds and I have another ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday.

I want so badly to see our baby boy on the ultrasound next week. I want so badly to see a flicker of hope. We have been praying so hard but it looks like we may need some more help! If you can find the time, please pray for us.

Thank you all so much.

7 weeks 5 days

“Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14)

Love, Jess 💙

First Ultrasound!

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Let me start off by saying I would reallllllllllllly appreciate prayers this week.

We had our ultrasound last Wednesday. My doctor told me that we were 6 weeks 4 days pregnant but baby was showing to be measuring around 5 weeks.

SO this typically means 1 of 2 things. Miscarriage is around the corner OR baby is just getting a slow start.

Many of you don’t know that this is the exact same thing that happened with our beautiful Brynn. We went in for ultrasound at 7 weeks 5 days, they could see the gestational sac but no baby. My OB told me to prepare for miscarriage and a week and a half later I went back for an ultrasound and there she was, beautiful as ever!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve been clinging onto the hope that baby boy is following in his sister’s footsteps.

My dr sent me for bloodwork right after the ultrasound to check for my hcg levels yet again. Results came back that they rose to 5000! So this also gives us hope that baby boy is just growing slowly!

Our next ultrasound is on Thursday. Any and ALL prayers we would humbly appreciate!

Until next update,

Jess ❤️

Ultrasound at 6 Weeks 4 Days

Hcg Update!

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What a week it has been!

Eric and I are overwhelmed with the amount of love and support we have received since we shared the news. Thank you so much to everyone that has reached out. We feel so blessed.

I have been to the doctor 4 times this past week and a half just for bloodwork to make sure my hcg levels have been rising.

At my first appointment, my hcg was 53! It was a relief to find out via blood test that we were pregnant!

Now you would think that I would be ecstatic about that number but what I have found dealing with infertility, is that it sometimes takes the joy away from happy moments because I am constantly WORRYING over things that I CANNOT CONTROL!

I have been learning to live in the now and be excited for any small victory. I have a long way to go but I am working on it 🙂

SO back to the HCG 😏 our doctor said that it doesn’t matter what your starting number is so long as it’s doubling every 48 hours. So I went back every 48 hours for more bloodwork!

My numbers have been as follows: 1st appt: 53, 2nd appt: 340, 3rd appt: 784, 4th appt: 1997 🥰

We are scheduled for an ultrasound on Wednesday to make sure baby boy implanted in my Uterus and then I think I will be able to breathe a little lol

Prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated!!

I hope everyone is staying safe during this time!

Love, Jess

Thank you so so soooo much to Phoebe for sending this sweet gift. Brynn was especially excited for the balloon! They are her fav 🥰

10 things I have learned from being a mom

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Sometimes I try to remember what my life was like before I became a mom.

Eric and I often talk about what we did with all of our time. LOL. We gave more attention to our dogs. We saw more movies in theatres. We went to sleep and woke up whenever we wanted.

Honestly, we had a lot more time to ourselves.

While all of that sounds like fun now, we dreamed and prayed about when it would be our turn to be parents and have a little one of our own.

When we finally got pregnant, it was one of the best days of our lives. In the coming months I started creating lists of things that I would need to prepare. What should we buy for our future baby? What room would we use as the bedroom? Omg let’s buy the cute little baby shoes!

When she was born, it was the BEST day of our life. At the same time, I had noooooooo idea what I was in for. There was so much to learn and so much to practice. I am STILL learning today and I will be for the rest of my life BUT I wanted to put together a list of things that I have learned thus far.

So, here we go:

  1. Baby shoes are pointless
    • There is literally no use for them. Cute as they may be, babies don’t need shoes. Now, socks, I can get on board with. Brynn actually didn’t need a real pair of shoes until she was walking.
  2. You don’t need all the clothes
    • Especially when your baby is young, you really don’t need 20 pairs of clothes in each size. In my experience, Brynn grew so fast that we couldn’t get her in all of her clothes quick enough (Thank you Mom and Cheryl, we still appreciate it, she needs 3T, just saying LOL)
  3. Fed is best
    • I put soooooooo much pressure on myself to breastfeed. Before I got pregnant, I told myself I was going to breastfeed until she was 1. That was NOT the case. AND it caused me to put a lot of stress on myself for no reason at all. Breastmilk or formula, it doesn’t matter. So long as your baby is being fed.
  4. Have a sleep schedule
    • For us, we put Brynn on a sleep schedule the minute we got home. We didn’t really plan it that way either. I guess my subconscious realized that I thrive on a schedule so we kind of just naturally put one into place. We would give her a bath at 6pm, then pajamas, books and bed by 7pm. Obviously, she wouldn’t sleep through the night right away but we would never stray from that schedule. I believe that sticking to that nighttime routine significantly helped us. She has been sleeping through the night from 7pm to 7am since she was 1 month old (until recently, hello toddler nightmares).
  5. Mac and Cheese is completely fine
    • There are some days that Brynn will only eat mac and cheese. Literally. Mac and cheese with hot dogs. For the longest time I would beat myself up about making sure she eats all the food groups. I have even gone so far as to make the veggie pasta, fresh shredded cheese, seasonings, voila! But in the end, it really doesn’t matter what she eats! She will eat when she’s ready.
  6. Invest in those disposable placemats
  7. Make some time for yourself
    • Set aside an hour in the morning or an hour in the afternoon for whatever makes you happy. Whether that be working out, reading a book, personal development, bible study, a hot bath, watching that episode you’ve been holding off on, etc. It is crucial to your sanity. Trust me.
  8. There is no one right way to be a mom
    • This one speaks for itself. You can listen to all the advice you will be getting, and as a new mom it’s often information overload, BUT you don’t have to actually apply that advice to your own life. Just because something has worked for another mom, doesn’t mean that it will feel right for you. Do what works for you!
  9. Use figurines for your bath toys, not those squeaky ones with the holes
  10. Enjoy those little moments, even the loud and crying ones
    • Yes, you read that right. I often look back on the days where Brynn wouldn’t stop crying no matter what I did (I literally sat in the bathroom one time with the blow dryer on as white noise). While in the moment it seemed so stressful and tiring, I often wish I could relive that again. Childhood is fleeting. One day I’m going to wake up and she will be going off to college. Cherish every day you have.

I’m sure I’ll be able to create another list as Brynn continues to grow and hopefully (God-willing) from our next baby.

Let me know if any of these tips helped you in the comments! I love to know who is reading my blog!

Until next time,

Jess <3

We made lemon poppy muffins this week. She ate the glaze off the top and gave me the rest. Thanks Brynn lol

IVF – First appointment!

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We had our first appointment yesterday to do a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork.

All results came back great so we were approved to move forward with the estrogen medications. They put me on one called Estrace. So far I haven’t noticed any side effects but i’m sure I will.

This medication is kind of interesting because they have me taking it once a day, then twice a day, then three times a day.

Our next appointment is on Friday May 29th and that is where they will do another ultrasound and bloodwork to make sure my uterine lining is super thick!

The good news is that if everything looks good at that appointment then the transfer will be the following week.

Honestly, all these appointments feel like such a blur now. I’m hoping for a little bit of normalcy soon.

Until then, we will keep praying and keeping ourselves busy.

I’ve started a little backyard garden and my veggie garden is surprisingly flourishing. Not sure what changed but I guess watering daily has helped lol. Maybe i’ll do a blog post about my plants and how they came to be. I had a hugeeeeeeeee mistake due to little research that I should share.

I’ve also been sewing lots and of course Brynnster sure has kept us on our toes. Quite literally. She doesn’t let me sit. Like ever. If anyone wants to comment any tips on how to keep an almost 3 year old occupied, I will greatly appreciate it HA!

More to come.

Me entertaining her with a balloon

xo, Jess

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